sana mamatay ka na
FUCK YOU!
-tangina mo
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Monday, April 9, 2012
c:
hello there! c:
haha, its been a while. and i've decided to leave this blog c: i think i've grown enough for a year to eventually realize how stupid i was being with all the things i do here. mehe. so yeah. to delete this, or not, im not exactly sure. but i'll think about it. i might even make a new one, a more mature one. =))) hahaha
-regis
haha, its been a while. and i've decided to leave this blog c: i think i've grown enough for a year to eventually realize how stupid i was being with all the things i do here. mehe. so yeah. to delete this, or not, im not exactly sure. but i'll think about it. i might even make a new one, a more mature one. =))) hahaha
-regis
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Damn..
No updates at all..
I have school now, and the first week, is full of things to do already! Ive got homeworks to answer, stuff to accomplish... the list goes on and on.. so yeah, ill update when i find the time :)) bye!
rogue up,
-Roguishblogger
I have school now, and the first week, is full of things to do already! Ive got homeworks to answer, stuff to accomplish... the list goes on and on.. so yeah, ill update when i find the time :)) bye!
rogue up,
-Roguishblogger
Friday, June 3, 2011
Happy Birthday Mom :))
My mom and dad isnt fighting anymore..
asusal, my dad has to give way for my mom's stubborness.. (is that correct? :)) but he made up for it when he surprised my mom, by going home and visiting us to celebrate even just for a short while.. :) I made a HUGE card, and bought my mom chocolates.. :))
the size of that card is a two page calendar put together :)))
HAPPY B-DAY MOM!!
I LOVE YOU!
asusal, my dad has to give way for my mom's stubborness.. (is that correct? :)) but he made up for it when he surprised my mom, by going home and visiting us to celebrate even just for a short while.. :) I made a HUGE card, and bought my mom chocolates.. :))
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| FRONT COVER |
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| CONTENT (where i put my long messeges) |
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| BACK COVER |
the size of that card is a two page calendar put together :)))
HAPPY B-DAY MOM!!
I LOVE YOU!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Go on.. Continue your bickering..
Torture.
Im listening to my parents arguing through the phone. Its sucks a lot... I hate it. Its because my mom could be.. lets say, tough too much sometimes. And my dad, he bad at explaining clearly. Dammit. They could go on for hours.
Shit.
I think my mom just hanged up on my dad.
Life sucks.
its my mom's 50th birthday on thursday, and this is how they start it?
Welcome to my life then.
Im listening to my parents arguing through the phone. Its sucks a lot... I hate it. Its because my mom could be.. lets say, tough too much sometimes. And my dad, he bad at explaining clearly. Dammit. They could go on for hours.
Shit.
I think my mom just hanged up on my dad.
Life sucks.
its my mom's 50th birthday on thursday, and this is how they start it?
Welcome to my life then.
More...
There's a reason why i love fantasy books just too much...
Angels, demons, vampires, faeries, wizards. Anything that actually spells fantasy, i would read. There's a reason behind all this.. addiction i have. To other peoples eyes, im just a book geek. But to me, there's a much more deeper meaning to it. When i grab a book, i dont just simply read. I live in the book. I dont want to sound cliche at all, no. Its just, theres a wanting in me, to simply escape the world; And escape all the pain, the foolishness and immaturity. Even for just a little while, and live the life i really want. Im not saying that im not thankful for the life i have now, i really am. But, theres something inside me, wanting... more. I want more, action. I want more, mysteries. I want more, romance. I just simply want more. I know im just 12 and im speaking all too soon. But, i dont know how to explain this, its like the only thing happening in your life is constant or i guess you could say, planned. You go to school, pass pre-school, grade school, high school then you finally reach college. You get a job then its either you have a successful life or a broken relationship with someone you love. You get me? Its like following schedules or routines, and heck, i dont want to follow the routines. I want to switch
paths... I want a life that no other person thinks actually exists. I want change in my life when i turn into my teens. And that change i hope, turns into the fantasy life i desperately want. Call me dellusional, i dont really care. I believe in what i believe and no one could change that. What i know is, soon, ill have the life i only read in my books.
In the meantime, ill just be thankful with the things i have today and my family with me. In the meantime, ill keep reading.
Angels, demons, vampires, faeries, wizards. Anything that actually spells fantasy, i would read. There's a reason behind all this.. addiction i have. To other peoples eyes, im just a book geek. But to me, there's a much more deeper meaning to it. When i grab a book, i dont just simply read. I live in the book. I dont want to sound cliche at all, no. Its just, theres a wanting in me, to simply escape the world; And escape all the pain, the foolishness and immaturity. Even for just a little while, and live the life i really want. Im not saying that im not thankful for the life i have now, i really am. But, theres something inside me, wanting... more. I want more, action. I want more, mysteries. I want more, romance. I just simply want more. I know im just 12 and im speaking all too soon. But, i dont know how to explain this, its like the only thing happening in your life is constant or i guess you could say, planned. You go to school, pass pre-school, grade school, high school then you finally reach college. You get a job then its either you have a successful life or a broken relationship with someone you love. You get me? Its like following schedules or routines, and heck, i dont want to follow the routines. I want to switch
paths... I want a life that no other person thinks actually exists. I want change in my life when i turn into my teens. And that change i hope, turns into the fantasy life i desperately want. Call me dellusional, i dont really care. I believe in what i believe and no one could change that. What i know is, soon, ill have the life i only read in my books.
In the meantime, ill just be thankful with the things i have today and my family with me. In the meantime, ill keep reading.
Empty House, Empty Home
Our house feels torturingly empty.
It hurts. One by one, I watched as my loved ones left home. My father, my aunt, our housekeeper and my cousins. I can't say i didn't
see this happening, but i can't say im prepared either. Although, these farewells actually has changed me. Changed me how, i dont exactly know. But then i know that i became much responsible and stronger than i
really am.
rogue up,
-RoguishBlogger
It hurts. One by one, I watched as my loved ones left home. My father, my aunt, our housekeeper and my cousins. I can't say i didn't
see this happening, but i can't say im prepared either. Although, these farewells actually has changed me. Changed me how, i dont exactly know. But then i know that i became much responsible and stronger than i
really am.
rogue up,
-RoguishBlogger
Why Me?
Why is everyone so keen into leaving me?
It's so sad. This probably has got to be my saddest weekend ever. I don't exactly know what to feel anymore. First came my father, then my aunt and cousins, and there goes my closest cousin going to college. And as if my life couldn't get anymore sadder, our housekeeper has to leave too. She left just because of a bloody remark. She left just because my mother reprimanded her about her laziness. She has to be told about how she's doing right? So we didn't do anything wrong there. I'm starting to think she's actually pregnant. I mean, who leaves her job just because her boss told her that she's become lazy. And before you get anymore ideas, no, my mother did not say it to hurt her feelings. My mom just had to tell her so that she could change for the better. We were actually close, this one. We don't talk about everything, but.. we talk. You get me? And what hurts the most actually is that she and my mother were really close too. Even closer than we are truthfully. And even as embarrasing as this sounds, i once got jealous of her closeness with my mom. And then, there she goes, going away with no apparent reason at all.
And you know what really kills me?
She didn't say goodbye to me.
rogue up,
-Roguishblogger
It's so sad. This probably has got to be my saddest weekend ever. I don't exactly know what to feel anymore. First came my father, then my aunt and cousins, and there goes my closest cousin going to college. And as if my life couldn't get anymore sadder, our housekeeper has to leave too. She left just because of a bloody remark. She left just because my mother reprimanded her about her laziness. She has to be told about how she's doing right? So we didn't do anything wrong there. I'm starting to think she's actually pregnant. I mean, who leaves her job just because her boss told her that she's become lazy. And before you get anymore ideas, no, my mother did not say it to hurt her feelings. My mom just had to tell her so that she could change for the better. We were actually close, this one. We don't talk about everything, but.. we talk. You get me? And what hurts the most actually is that she and my mother were really close too. Even closer than we are truthfully. And even as embarrasing as this sounds, i once got jealous of her closeness with my mom. And then, there she goes, going away with no apparent reason at all.
And you know what really kills me?
She didn't say goodbye to me.
rogue up,
-Roguishblogger
Saturday, May 28, 2011
See you a little while later..
I haven't been active lately.
And the reason is that there's a lot going on. (actually thats a BIG understatement) There's a lot on my mind that i actually want to share and blog about. I just can't seem to know where to start... So, you probably won't hear from me lately because i can't organize which to blog about first and what next. And besides, school's starting again and being a seventh grader, im probably going to be a lot busy... But no, i wont abandon this blog. Im just going to fix myself for a while. And know exactly what to share to you people reading. (If there even is :)) So yeah, thats it. Bye for now.
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
My hand sucks.. :P
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| Yeah, I got black nailpolish... :D but i'll erase it soon though, it's not allowed in my school ;) |
Friday, May 20, 2011
Weep for me.
I dont exactly know what i should feel with airports.
At first i thought, i should love airports. I say it's because it's where we get to the people we love no matter how far. It's where we go to places we want to discover more. But after today, I just dont know what to feel anymore. Today's one of the days i dreaded. Today we brought one of my closest relatives (my aunt and my two other cousins) to the airport. They're going home. They're going back to our province, where they really live. And so then i thought, how the heck could i love airports when it's how families get so far with each other? I got so confused with myself.
The goodbyes were said, and the tears flowed. However, what surprised me was that i spilled very few tears only. I even covered them with a fake smile. Just to show them i wasn't exactly crying. To be honest, i want to cry. I want to bawl my eyes out actually. But as i saw the persons i love crying, i felt like i should be the one that remained strong; if not stoic. I keep telling myself to hold my tears. I'll cry hard when no one's looking. I'll cry later on when everyone's asleep.
You might think im really over reacting. But if you only knew how much close i am with my extended family, you'll understand me. The truth is, im not only crying for my relatives. Im crying for my father too. He left with the airport. Off to earn a living for us abroad, again.Yes, im holding my tears for days now. I just want to be strong you know. I want to keep strong for my sad mom and closest cousin. Even if i am just one person. I'll cry when i feel like it's time to soften. I'll cry when no one's crying anymore. I'll cry when i know my loved
ones are strong enough to stand still by themselves. When its my turn.. That's when i'll cry.
rogue up,
-RoguishBlogger
At first i thought, i should love airports. I say it's because it's where we get to the people we love no matter how far. It's where we go to places we want to discover more. But after today, I just dont know what to feel anymore. Today's one of the days i dreaded. Today we brought one of my closest relatives (my aunt and my two other cousins) to the airport. They're going home. They're going back to our province, where they really live. And so then i thought, how the heck could i love airports when it's how families get so far with each other? I got so confused with myself.
The goodbyes were said, and the tears flowed. However, what surprised me was that i spilled very few tears only. I even covered them with a fake smile. Just to show them i wasn't exactly crying. To be honest, i want to cry. I want to bawl my eyes out actually. But as i saw the persons i love crying, i felt like i should be the one that remained strong; if not stoic. I keep telling myself to hold my tears. I'll cry hard when no one's looking. I'll cry later on when everyone's asleep.
You might think im really over reacting. But if you only knew how much close i am with my extended family, you'll understand me. The truth is, im not only crying for my relatives. Im crying for my father too. He left with the airport. Off to earn a living for us abroad, again.Yes, im holding my tears for days now. I just want to be strong you know. I want to keep strong for my sad mom and closest cousin. Even if i am just one person. I'll cry when i feel like it's time to soften. I'll cry when no one's crying anymore. I'll cry when i know my loved
ones are strong enough to stand still by themselves. When its my turn.. That's when i'll cry.
rogue up,
-RoguishBlogger
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Im 12. Young and dreaming.
There are just some times when i just really want to escape reality. i guess that explains the way i grasp on the books i read and the movies i watch.
We watched Thor today. And like every other movie i watch, i was moved. I was moved by the story. I was struck by the possibility that, the things that happened in Thor, could happen in my life too. I was craving for surreal things happening. I thirst for fantasy in my reality. These things happen all the time. After i watched Thor, i kept silent and pretended to be asleep at the car. But the truth was, i was thinking about what could have had happen in the movie. To be honest, i wasn't really satisfied with it's ending. I've always wanted
movies to end with their love teams together. But then, with this one, they didn't. It ended with them missing each other and the whole message portraying about not losing hope cause they'll meet again and all that. If you know what i mean. But no worries, I won't be spoiling anymore though.
Its just that, sometimes, i just get tired of living my kind of life. I get this feeling, the feeling of wanting the adventure to experience things an ordinary person wouldnt imagine. Like having a love story with a vampire, like living a life with a wizard, like having to experience the last 8 minutes of another person's life using your soul, like dwelling into dream after dream, like living in the world you yourself created, and having to get the chance to interact with people from other realms. Im talking about those kinds of adventures. Call me dellusional but thats the way i just am. When my family hears this, they'd probably think that im not the brave kind of person. But i keep telling myself that i've always been ready. Im just waiting. Waiting for the time when ill have my turn.
At times, i get the pleasure of living the things i wanted in my dreams. (Other than reading and watching movies) Sometimes though, just like every other movie, my dream doesnt end the way i wanted. And so i close my eyes and try to dream again, and end it the way i wanted. That explains probably my wish, of being a book writer or a director of a movie. Right now, at age 12, im just holding on to reality while i still can. But deep inside i know, my story will end the way i want it.
We watched Thor today. And like every other movie i watch, i was moved. I was moved by the story. I was struck by the possibility that, the things that happened in Thor, could happen in my life too. I was craving for surreal things happening. I thirst for fantasy in my reality. These things happen all the time. After i watched Thor, i kept silent and pretended to be asleep at the car. But the truth was, i was thinking about what could have had happen in the movie. To be honest, i wasn't really satisfied with it's ending. I've always wanted
movies to end with their love teams together. But then, with this one, they didn't. It ended with them missing each other and the whole message portraying about not losing hope cause they'll meet again and all that. If you know what i mean. But no worries, I won't be spoiling anymore though.
Its just that, sometimes, i just get tired of living my kind of life. I get this feeling, the feeling of wanting the adventure to experience things an ordinary person wouldnt imagine. Like having a love story with a vampire, like living a life with a wizard, like having to experience the last 8 minutes of another person's life using your soul, like dwelling into dream after dream, like living in the world you yourself created, and having to get the chance to interact with people from other realms. Im talking about those kinds of adventures. Call me dellusional but thats the way i just am. When my family hears this, they'd probably think that im not the brave kind of person. But i keep telling myself that i've always been ready. Im just waiting. Waiting for the time when ill have my turn.
At times, i get the pleasure of living the things i wanted in my dreams. (Other than reading and watching movies) Sometimes though, just like every other movie, my dream doesnt end the way i wanted. And so i close my eyes and try to dream again, and end it the way i wanted. That explains probably my wish, of being a book writer or a director of a movie. Right now, at age 12, im just holding on to reality while i still can. But deep inside i know, my story will end the way i want it.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
It's gonna be another year..
Finally! I was suppose to post this last night but then there was a problem in my blog... I couldn't post anything at all... The picture of a clock just kept moving in the area where i was supposed to type my post... But, luckily now, I finally got in :D
I'm coming home from my vacation tomorrow and i'm supposed to pack my bags now. But then i just thought, what the heck.. I'll do that later... I better take advantage of the time i have left with the wifi available before going home to a no wifi area.. :D but please, dont ever get me wrong... I love our house, that's why i even call it home.. it's just that, with me being an only child, it gets pretty boring.. So yeah, im just taking advantage of the time i have left with the wifi around :D
But on the plus side, im coming home with my beloved cousins! Yep, all of em! That makes me more excited than ever... And even more, i much excited to see my parents and housekeeper again! Haha, yeah, im pretty close with her.. Her laugh is so contagious.. I think there wasn't a day when she isn't smiling at all..
However, to point an obvious fact.. Summer's almost over.. :(( Another school year's going to start again and i'm a bit anxious to know what room im assigned with.. The last thing i wanna know is that im classmates with over-reacting people.. They just bring too much drama in class.... Although, some puts more excitement in my days, there are just some days where i've had enough of their attitudes when they act like they've got the biggest problem in the world when a boy just wouldn't talk to them..
But whatheheck, i don't think i really care anymore, all i know is that im coming home! Woohoo! :D I enjoyed my stay here in the province and i know i'll come back many times more..
Also, knowing that we dont have wifi at home, i might not be posting nonsense for a while.. but of course i'd still post soon... its not like i would never post again would i? ;)
and so, bye for now!
i must be off to pack my bags..
SAYONARA! (is that right? lol)
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
I'm coming home from my vacation tomorrow and i'm supposed to pack my bags now. But then i just thought, what the heck.. I'll do that later... I better take advantage of the time i have left with the wifi available before going home to a no wifi area.. :D but please, dont ever get me wrong... I love our house, that's why i even call it home.. it's just that, with me being an only child, it gets pretty boring.. So yeah, im just taking advantage of the time i have left with the wifi around :D
But on the plus side, im coming home with my beloved cousins! Yep, all of em! That makes me more excited than ever... And even more, i much excited to see my parents and housekeeper again! Haha, yeah, im pretty close with her.. Her laugh is so contagious.. I think there wasn't a day when she isn't smiling at all..
However, to point an obvious fact.. Summer's almost over.. :(( Another school year's going to start again and i'm a bit anxious to know what room im assigned with.. The last thing i wanna know is that im classmates with over-reacting people.. They just bring too much drama in class.... Although, some puts more excitement in my days, there are just some days where i've had enough of their attitudes when they act like they've got the biggest problem in the world when a boy just wouldn't talk to them..
But whatheheck, i don't think i really care anymore, all i know is that im coming home! Woohoo! :D I enjoyed my stay here in the province and i know i'll come back many times more..
Also, knowing that we dont have wifi at home, i might not be posting nonsense for a while.. but of course i'd still post soon... its not like i would never post again would i? ;)
and so, bye for now!
i must be off to pack my bags..
SAYONARA! (is that right? lol)
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Friday, May 6, 2011
Overexposed or what?
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| Another of those "models" from my photography class taken by me :)) Sorry, i think its overexposed... |
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Your friend, your enemy.
I can't say I'm afraid of death. But i can't say i'm not either. Or maybe i just feel a little bit of both.
When I was a bit younger than i am now, i use to avoid talking about death.
Before, my mother used to warn me about being responsible and obedient. She uses my guilt to do as she says and i must admit, she scares me with what she says.. She makes me guilty by usually telling me to better start to get used to doing things on my own because i might never know when the Lord would take her. After she tells me that, i do every chore she gives to me and gives me a chuckle in exchange. However, to be truthful, i was so uncomfortable that time. I didn't want to talk about my mom sleeping forever actually. It was not my ideal topic.
I talked to my mom and told her not to think that that Lord will take her too soon. She explained everything to me and i understood every bit that she said.
From then on i knew, that death, was either your friend, or your enemy. It would take you when it knows that you've experienced enough of the evil in this world, and it would bring you wherever your supposed to be if it sees you've brought enough negative vibes in the world.
All i do is pray for me and my families safety. Although, i must admit, the word death still strikes a nerve of mine. However, my mother told me to be strong enough get through it. And through her, i did.
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I don't say it.. I write it...
Today was a relief. I talked to my cousin about her admiration to someone and i was afraid that she wouldn't like talking about it. My big mouth however, got ahead of me. Unwillingly, I said something implying that i know something. Just as i said it, i clamped my mouth shut and awaited her response. I was nervous for a second there that we were going to have an *awkward* moment... And that was one of the things i do not want happening, especially with my cousin. Thankfully, her contagious laugh told me that she was okay that i knew. (I guess she is, though i'm not sure at all) She laughed about my jokes and i knew she didn't mind me knowing. Although, i can't help but wonder, if it was really okay that i knew. And so, a few minutes later, i told her my admiration to someone so that we could seem even that we know a few things about our admirations. We laughed it off in the end and i was relieved.
But honestly, i wasn't just thinking about having an *awkward* moment. Though, it was part of it. I was thinking more about us both having a conversation we could both answer to and protect each other with. You know, just to strengthen our sisterhood. And i thought knowing a few personal things about each other would be my first step.
Why am i doing this?
It's just because, under the circumstances, she's going to be moving to our city. That just makes me joyful. It's because i want to be there when she needs someone. I wanna be there when someone bothers her. I wanna be there to kick the shins of the boys who breaks her heart. I wanna be the one who she come's to when she wants to tell me something. Bottom line is, i just wanna be there for her. Our age gap's pretty far, but that doesn't stop close sisters right? But if she might not like what i'm hoping for, i would still understand. I'll understand for the sake of keeping the sister i never had.
I hope i didn't sound to clingy there.
She might read this i'm afraid. But then, at the same time, i want to know what she truthfully thinks. And if you're ever going to comment, my dearest cousin, i hope, after you read this, you act like you've never ever, ever, read this post. Just so to avoid having some unwanted gap in our sisterhood. :) Comment as an anonymous if you dont want people knowing that you're the cousin im talking about :)
But then, if you want nothing to do with this at all... Well then, I understand. :) If we ever see each other, oh please! act like you read nothing! :D
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
But honestly, i wasn't just thinking about having an *awkward* moment. Though, it was part of it. I was thinking more about us both having a conversation we could both answer to and protect each other with. You know, just to strengthen our sisterhood. And i thought knowing a few personal things about each other would be my first step.
Why am i doing this?
It's just because, under the circumstances, she's going to be moving to our city. That just makes me joyful. It's because i want to be there when she needs someone. I wanna be there when someone bothers her. I wanna be there to kick the shins of the boys who breaks her heart. I wanna be the one who she come's to when she wants to tell me something. Bottom line is, i just wanna be there for her. Our age gap's pretty far, but that doesn't stop close sisters right? But if she might not like what i'm hoping for, i would still understand. I'll understand for the sake of keeping the sister i never had.
I hope i didn't sound to clingy there.
She might read this i'm afraid. But then, at the same time, i want to know what she truthfully thinks. And if you're ever going to comment, my dearest cousin, i hope, after you read this, you act like you've never ever, ever, read this post. Just so to avoid having some unwanted gap in our sisterhood. :) Comment as an anonymous if you dont want people knowing that you're the cousin im talking about :)
But then, if you want nothing to do with this at all... Well then, I understand. :) If we ever see each other, oh please! act like you read nothing! :D
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
It is I again...
It's me again. Who else? Blogging very early in the morn'. As usual.
I just find it amusing that almost all the posts i have are posted usually during early mornings. Usually 12-2 am. And i already fixed the time there. I guess you could say that i've gotten used to sleeping late. Actually, even before making this blog, i do sleep really late. I usually take lots of hours to sleep well. Before having this blog, i just stare at the ceiling above and see the plain walls beside me get darker as the night goes on.
Right now, it's 1:48 am and my mind's completely blank. But i just keep on getting this feeling that i had to at least say something this morning.
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
I just find it amusing that almost all the posts i have are posted usually during early mornings. Usually 12-2 am. And i already fixed the time there. I guess you could say that i've gotten used to sleeping late. Actually, even before making this blog, i do sleep really late. I usually take lots of hours to sleep well. Before having this blog, i just stare at the ceiling above and see the plain walls beside me get darker as the night goes on.
Right now, it's 1:48 am and my mind's completely blank. But i just keep on getting this feeling that i had to at least say something this morning.
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Monday, May 2, 2011
Balancing Colors
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| This is one of the subjects i took a picture of at my teacher in photography's house |
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| I adjusted the white balance in here so the difference between the two could be emphasized.. |
Sucks to be me tonight...
Real date written: May1 Sunday 1:13 am
Im sorry, but i just gotta say this...
F*ck my life!!!
This probably has to be one of my worst days ever... The stupid wifi connection isn’t working at all, and so you’re probably going to be reading this after my torturing night...
Torturing how?
Well, first of all, both of my legs hurt like hell... And i didn’t even run a marathon! I was slacking all day! Second of all, my nose is running... Gahd, it’s so hard to breathe... Fourth, the wifi in my aunt’s house isn’t working... And worse, it chose to rest for the night! So that means, there’s nothing to keep me company at all... :(
Why do i need company?
Well, no one knows at all (except i guess, my cousin pauline and the people reading this) that i have sleeping problems... (and i actually slept yesterday at 6 –ish am when the sun was up. Proof here at my cousin’s blog>> http://spellpauline.blogspot.com) The more i try to sleep, the more awake i get.... So then i tried, keeping myself busy so that i could feel tired and eventually sleep, using the internet... BUT... None from those choices ever worked for me at all... They all result to me staying up all night unwillingly... I guess you could say that i sleep when my mind wants me too...But then right now, my mind is soo not letting me have my sleep... My body aches no but my mind works up a yes... I’ve tried telling my mom this, and all she gives me in reply is a weird look and an annoying laugh! Oh yes, she just laughs at me... She tells me to just stop my foolishness and sleep tight and well. As if, that’s possible.. Poor me right?
And so that brings us back to the present where i have my blood boiling because i have to endure a night full of tossing and turning on my cousin’s bed with nothing to do but to stare at the ceiling while i wait for my brain to fetch me and finally bring me to my La La Land.. Oh yes, i have my iTouch as a backup.... but then, come to think of it, how the heck could i use it without a freaking wifi connection!!! I do have my music to play to keep my ears occupied as well, but then, how about my eyes? They do need equal attention after all. And besides there are more things i wanna look at than plain ceilings and walls...
Sorry, i may have sounded too demanding for a minute there. However, whatever could i do? Nothing. Exactly. And so i guess, instead of sulking around, i thought just to express my freedoom (yes, you read it right: FREEDOOM) in my reliable blog :)
So, that’s it for tonight i guess... I hope you guys sleep tight and well... Sweet dreams :*
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I know i'm just lucky :)
Age is just a number :)
This could apply to almost everything... Talent, looks, love :)
And with love, it's just pretty much saying that if you're together with someone and you love him or her, no matter how old you get.. Your love will never fade :)
Just like my wonderful grandparents :) Sometimes, when i'm with my family, i happily observe the way we bond. And out of the corner of my eye, i see the way my grandma cares so much & the way my grandfather keeps himself strong even with his sickness.. Back then, me and one of my closest cousin, used to observe our grandparents when ever they're all lovey dovey :) I guess i am genuinely happy as I see their eyes light up as they hold hands at some times, I hear their melodic laughs as they remember some moments with us, I smell the sincerity between their relationship, and I feel the love between their auras.. :) Although, at times i don't notice these between the two of them.. I know these things exist between them...
And this goes the same with my parents :) Although, something went seriously wrong between them back in the day, I know im just lucky that it's done.. We're all in a new episode now, and there will be no replays :) But moving on...
I'm just praying that my parents continue going down to a straight path to their passionate love. :)
rogue up! :)
-RoguishBlogger  | ||
| I proudly present to you.. My GRANDparents! :)) Oh, i love them :)) |
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Additional Information.. (for those who care ;))
And a few more things..
:D
you could follow me in twitter with a username : RogueRegis
and in tumblr with the blog name: Rogue Is What
some of you might think that this may be too much but no worries, theres not much about me in those social networks either.. (except for my facebook ;)) so, there wouldn't be too much giveaways :))))
and i do hope even some of you understood my cowardice before at such things.. im sure some of you feel the same way at sometimes :))
so thats it for tonight, :)))) see you all tomorrow ;) (kind of)
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
I am just human after all :)
i guess.. There are some times when i think about what could some other people say about the things i say or do.. i couldn't help it..
For an instance, i think about the people who are reading my blog posts... And as much as i tell myself not to, i actually wonder about what you guys think about with me not telling even just one thing about my identity.. Although, I've seen some other blogs.. They don't give too much away about themselves, but they do give out there name.. But with me, i give out none.. And to be honest...Its because I am afraid about what people would say... I am scared about what people reading this might think about the kinds of posts im posting..
As much as i don't want to admit it, but i think i should, I couldnt help but to feel scared, afraid, and any word thats synonymous to those words.. Although, theres still a small percentage in me thats curious about you reading these think, but me being afraid over rides it......
Or maybe, im over thinking it, maybe some of you don't care anything about knowing my identity after all.. 'Cause maybe some of you think that im just making myself important.. what i mean is, you people might think im making myself important for you guys to know even just my name.. if you know what i mean...
But if you look at it very closely... There's that word.. MAYBE..
im not sure at all about what you people think.. and so, i thought, why not introduce myself so i would know..
and before this, i actually told myself to stay strong about what's going to come after.... so here goes..
i am Mikaela Regis... i read a lot of books, (and i think you already know that) i am female, (obviously ;)) favorite color is red, blue, black.. and i make mistakes and feel such things like curiosity, pain, and cowardice...
i wish that's not too much and not too less though, i have made an effort to do this and i hope you guys would appreciate it.. :)) i have become an honest person in this blog and i think this where i could just be one..
I also hope that maybe, just maybe, i have inspired people reading these (if there are.. LOL :)) to come out of their shells and face such things and overcome it at such places (as for mine, i have overcome mine in my blog) .. Use that place to get to know yourself better... get to know every bit of your identity.. and even just be yourself in that place for the sake of you and not others =)
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Friday, April 29, 2011
Too many ideas...
There are some instances when something clicks on in my mind.. I get so many ideas about what to do, what to say, and more importantly, what to write! Just one day, i was having dinner with my mother and our housekeeper and as usual, we never fail to stick to just one topic.. We actually talk about everything.. My mom starts it off with a "Did you know?" and "You know what?".. Then, if i crack a really hilarious joke, we drive off the topic and forget about what we were talking about the previous time =) But anyways, we were having late dinner, (again) and i suddenly thought of a line just randomly.. it was "Understand the science first, before you argue.." It's so deep right? hahaha.. And ironically, we were talking about fishes then! hahaha! Just then, my mother talked about another topic and i suddenly forgot my line! I was so frustrated that i was so irritated with everyone around me and began having tantrums... Then, our housekeeper, (she was in the bathroom then, doing number 2 ;)) shouted that she remembered my line! She said it to me clearly from the bathroom and i jumped for joy as i wrote it in a paper.. =) Since then, my mother tells me that whenever i remember something important, i should write it down.. And from that experience, i totally learned =) Thanks mama! Love you and miss you! (although, she doesn't know im keeping a blog and probably would never read this)
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Coloring Flowers
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| This is kind of edited actually, i sharpened the contrast in this one cause it was too bright... But it did turn out pretty right? =))) |
First time blogging through iTouch.. at 2:20 am!!!
Its the first time im posting a blog post through my iTouch in the Safari thingy application. And damn well this aint easy at all... Although, im pretty much used to typing on my gadget... im having a hard time getting used to zooming in and out on the texts im typing.. You might just ask why the heck i aint using the laptop, well its just that how the heck will u survive in using a kind of large laptop in a bed which im sharing with my loved cousins.. And besides, with the lights closed, the laptop is going to be bright enough to wake up my lovely cousins.. and hell, do i wanna cause a great inconvinience to them... (note the sarcasm) To be honest, i tried sleeping... but it just wont come... and heck this just aint the f*cking first time isnt it? if youd actually remember before when i said that i once slept at 3 am....
and so that brings me back to the present where i am thinking nothing but senseless thoughts and having a hard time pressing the right buttons ... but heck why do i even bother you think? well the truth is thats whats bugging me actually.. but its probably because i have nothing to do but wait till sleep takes over me.... and so aside from posting nonsense here, im also downloading a twitter application in my iTouch so i could tweet.. (even as cliche as that sounds) and if your wondering, yes i do have twitter, but no, i wont gve out mine cause thatll just give my identity wont it? ;) yes i know, im evil;) joking! hahaha
but still ill be surprised to see how long this comes out to be in my blog.. but we wont know till we see wont we? so i guess ill say bye fer now. :) hopefully sleep will realize ive had enough and actually take me =) so bye guys!!
rogue up! ;)
-RoguishBlogger
and so that brings me back to the present where i am thinking nothing but senseless thoughts and having a hard time pressing the right buttons ... but heck why do i even bother you think? well the truth is thats whats bugging me actually.. but its probably because i have nothing to do but wait till sleep takes over me.... and so aside from posting nonsense here, im also downloading a twitter application in my iTouch so i could tweet.. (even as cliche as that sounds) and if your wondering, yes i do have twitter, but no, i wont gve out mine cause thatll just give my identity wont it? ;) yes i know, im evil;) joking! hahaha
but still ill be surprised to see how long this comes out to be in my blog.. but we wont know till we see wont we? so i guess ill say bye fer now. :) hopefully sleep will realize ive had enough and actually take me =) so bye guys!!
rogue up! ;)
-RoguishBlogger
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Contrasting Colors =)
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| This was from the chairs in my teacher in photography's house... |
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| The difference between the one above with this one is that i adjusted the contrast from the camera... In here, i did nothing, while above, i sharpened the contrast more... |
Angered Secrets & Mistakes
My mother is never sure whether i'm lying or not... She doesn't tell me this but i could sense it.. Don't ask me how because i don't know either.. I guess i could just feel it in my instincts...
She used to tell me that "A secret cannot stay a secret for too long..." She tells me this when she thinks i'm keeping something from her. Though for me, it's all about hiding it really well.. Some people look like they have no secret/s at all. Truth is, no matter how big or small, all of us has secrets... Every person in the whole universe has one ... It's up to you as to how you're going to hide it.. Some people tell their's to one or two people because they "think" they trust them.. Though, to tell you the truth there is only very few people you could trust about your secret.. And it's pretty hard to find them...
Yes, if you would actually notice, i am speaking from experience.. Once i told a friend of mine about a secret of mine that no one was supposed to know. Foolish i know, but then i had an urge to tell even just one person, and unfortunately the person i involuntarily told was my big mouthed "friend".. (if you even call her a friend) The certain urge i had was when i felt i would explode if i kept my secret too long inside me. That was what my mother meant when she told me that a secret would never stay secret for too long.. I hated to say she was right though. I told my friend my hard kept secret through the phone.. Yes, you read it right, through the phone! I was too desperate to care about who i was telling my certain secret about because the feelings i had inside me was ready to explode.. I felt the need to tell even just one soul about what i have been keeping inside... And fate was just too cruel.. For the "friend" i told my secret to was a blabber.. People can't see that she is, but then i observe well.. I memorize her every move and know from the start that she couldn't keep a secret (juicy or not) inside her for too long. Her "sickness" was that contagious.. I didn't even know why i even became friends with her.. Regret was what i felt. You might be wondering as to why i totally regretted being friends with her..
I was on the phone with her one day, when i asked her if she wanted to know something about me.. She eagerly said yes and i could feel her excitement growing on the phone... I told her what i was keeping to myself for so long.. After i did, all she did was sound really surprised...she tried to hide it but i noticed that she couldn't help but feel a little excited too.. Excited why? Probably because she thought she was about to spread a gossip that would leave people's mouths open.. And to think, what i was keeping in me wasn't "juicy" at all.. it wasn't about something people wouldn't expect from a person like me... My secret was something from the past about my family problems. It was all done and i just needed someone to tell it to.. After i told her about it, i realized what i had done.. I then pulled out a really buy-able lie so that she would think my secret was not true at all.. And i was right, she bought what i told her and believed me... I was that a good of a liar.. It was either that, or she was just that stupid... Harsh i know, but then i needed to do it or else i wouldn't hear the end of it.. I just knew that if i hadn't pulled out that lie to let her think that my "secret" wasn't real, she would use it against me..
How did i know this? Easy.. She did this to one of my closest friends.. And i obviously didn't want to be the next victim...
And so that was how i learned from a mistake that i did and kept everything i was feeling inside a box. And during the times when i felt like i would explode.. Instead of blabbing the feelings i have about the world just like what i did before.. I get mad easily.. That's how i put out all the things i feel... It's either i blab, or get mad.. And from what i have experienced before, i learned how to choose the latter. Sadly after all, what choice do i have left?
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
She used to tell me that "A secret cannot stay a secret for too long..." She tells me this when she thinks i'm keeping something from her. Though for me, it's all about hiding it really well.. Some people look like they have no secret/s at all. Truth is, no matter how big or small, all of us has secrets... Every person in the whole universe has one ... It's up to you as to how you're going to hide it.. Some people tell their's to one or two people because they "think" they trust them.. Though, to tell you the truth there is only very few people you could trust about your secret.. And it's pretty hard to find them...
Yes, if you would actually notice, i am speaking from experience.. Once i told a friend of mine about a secret of mine that no one was supposed to know. Foolish i know, but then i had an urge to tell even just one person, and unfortunately the person i involuntarily told was my big mouthed "friend".. (if you even call her a friend) The certain urge i had was when i felt i would explode if i kept my secret too long inside me. That was what my mother meant when she told me that a secret would never stay secret for too long.. I hated to say she was right though. I told my friend my hard kept secret through the phone.. Yes, you read it right, through the phone! I was too desperate to care about who i was telling my certain secret about because the feelings i had inside me was ready to explode.. I felt the need to tell even just one soul about what i have been keeping inside... And fate was just too cruel.. For the "friend" i told my secret to was a blabber.. People can't see that she is, but then i observe well.. I memorize her every move and know from the start that she couldn't keep a secret (juicy or not) inside her for too long. Her "sickness" was that contagious.. I didn't even know why i even became friends with her.. Regret was what i felt. You might be wondering as to why i totally regretted being friends with her..
I was on the phone with her one day, when i asked her if she wanted to know something about me.. She eagerly said yes and i could feel her excitement growing on the phone... I told her what i was keeping to myself for so long.. After i did, all she did was sound really surprised...she tried to hide it but i noticed that she couldn't help but feel a little excited too.. Excited why? Probably because she thought she was about to spread a gossip that would leave people's mouths open.. And to think, what i was keeping in me wasn't "juicy" at all.. it wasn't about something people wouldn't expect from a person like me... My secret was something from the past about my family problems. It was all done and i just needed someone to tell it to.. After i told her about it, i realized what i had done.. I then pulled out a really buy-able lie so that she would think my secret was not true at all.. And i was right, she bought what i told her and believed me... I was that a good of a liar.. It was either that, or she was just that stupid... Harsh i know, but then i needed to do it or else i wouldn't hear the end of it.. I just knew that if i hadn't pulled out that lie to let her think that my "secret" wasn't real, she would use it against me..
How did i know this? Easy.. She did this to one of my closest friends.. And i obviously didn't want to be the next victim...
And so that was how i learned from a mistake that i did and kept everything i was feeling inside a box. And during the times when i felt like i would explode.. Instead of blabbing the feelings i have about the world just like what i did before.. I get mad easily.. That's how i put out all the things i feel... It's either i blab, or get mad.. And from what i have experienced before, i learned how to choose the latter. Sadly after all, what choice do i have left?
rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Beauty & the Beast
Why am i so ugly? =(
Just a few seconds ago, i was browsing through the photos my beloved aunt tagged me in. And god, was i disgusted... I wasn't disgusted at the picture, but more likely, i was disgusted with my own face.. =( i know, people have more problems than their looks, but please, you can't avoid these kinds of things happenings right? After those torturing moments, i scrolled down a few pages more.. And i stared at one of my friend's profile picture... I think a tear almost feel down from my eye.. Kidding im exaggerating.. Although, my friends really are pretty.. Which makes me feel more ugly than i already am.. :( anyways.. I think i'll stop fer now.. I cant believe im talking too much about my face...Wow, this is the first time.. :(
Rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
Living with what you read..
After all those years of lots and lots of reading, it was just the other night that I realized how much my reading affected my emotions...
I was lying in my cousin’s bed and was reading one of my eBooks while the music was on through my earphones. I was half through the book when I came through a page when the character does something her love wouldn’t approve of, but ‘thing is, she didn’t do it on purpose. Because of that her best friend and the person that she loves gets into a huge fight. She explains herself, telling the people she loves that “it just happened”. But sadly, as all books go, the people close to her wouldn’t believe her. Though the other side of me just feels that she deserved it, my heart breaks for her as she is avoided by the people she loves by something she didn’t want to happen. Long times have past and the people she loves realized that they were just being hypocrites. They come to her to apologize, but they are too late. The character’s enemy, who turns out to be in love with her, locks her up in her own home saying that “if I can’t have you, no one can”. My grip on my iTouch tightens in anger as I witness the character’s loved ones are too late to be of help because of their stupidity that kept them from forgiving the character. I was never a crier for I believe that it is a weakness, but I couldn’t help and let a tear escape as the character struggles for help but sadly all results to nothing. As I finish the chapter, I couldn’t help but feel a little angry at the author’s storyline for letting the main character struggle in pain. Though after realizing the childishness of what I just thought, I shake my head in amusement and let out a small chuckle. I think to myself that it was just one of those typical storylines to shake out the frustration building up inside me. As I kept reading, I realized that I seldom have these kinds of emotions with the people around me. I stop reading and leave my music open as things sunk into me. I am a whole different person when I read books. I don’t cry around people at all but suddenly tears fall whenever a character in a book suffers in heartbreak. Although, my anger comes with no difference around books and people for I don’t know how to control my anger around persons. (I am pretty impulsive.) Before all this knowledge came into me, I had no idea how much i was breaking my mother’s orders when she told me not to live through what i read. I mean, i do know i was breaking her order before, but not as much as now. I was rendered speechless that time when i realized those things and have no one to say these things to, so i came and wrote all my feelings to this blog. But even so when telling you this, I am still undisturbed on possibly how many people may be reading this for after all, you don’t me, and i don’t you. ;)
Rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger
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