Additional Information.. (for those who care ;))

And a few more things.. 

:D

you could follow me in twitter with a username : RogueRegis

and in tumblr with the blog name: Rogue Is What

some of you might think that this may be too much but no worries, theres not much about me in those social networks either.. (except for my facebook ;)) so, there wouldn't be too much giveaways :))))

and i do hope even some of you understood my cowardice before at such things.. im sure some of you feel the same way at sometimes :)) 

so thats it for tonight, :)))) see you all tomorrow ;) (kind of)

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

:D

I am just human after all :)

i guess.. There are some times when i think about what could some other people say about the things i say or do.. i couldn't help it.. 

For an instance, i think about the people who are reading  my blog posts...  And as much as i tell myself not to, i actually wonder about what you guys think about with me not telling even just one thing about my identity.. Although, I've seen some other blogs.. They don't give too much away about themselves, but they do give out there name.. But with me, i give out none.. And to be honest...Its because I am afraid about what people would  say... I am scared about what people reading this might think about the kinds of posts im posting.. 

As much as i don't want to admit it, but i think i should, I couldnt help but to feel scared, afraid, and any word thats synonymous to those words.. Although, theres still a small percentage in me thats curious about you reading these think, but me being afraid over rides it......

Or maybe, im over thinking it, maybe some of you don't care anything about knowing my identity after all.. 'Cause maybe some of you think that im just making myself important.. what i mean is, you people might think im making myself important for you guys to know even just my name.. if you know what i mean...

But if you look at it very closely... There's that word.. MAYBE.. 

im not sure at all about what you people think.. and so, i thought, why not introduce myself so i would know.. 

and before this, i actually told myself to stay strong about what's going to come after.... so here goes..

i am Mikaela Regis... i read a lot of books, (and i think you already know that) i am female, (obviously ;)) favorite color is red, blue, black..  and i make mistakes and feel such things like curiosity, pain, and cowardice...

i wish that's not too much and not too less though, i have made an effort to do this and i hope you guys would appreciate it.. :)) i have become an honest person in this blog and i think this where i could just be one..

I also hope that maybe, just maybe, i have inspired people reading these (if there are.. LOL :)) to come out of their shells and face such things and overcome it at such places (as for mine, i have overcome mine in my blog) .. Use that place to get to know yourself better... get to know every bit of your identity.. and even just be  yourself in that place for the sake of you and not others =)

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger 

:D

Too many ideas...

There are some instances when something clicks on in my mind.. I get so many ideas about what to do, what to say, and more importantly, what to write! Just one day, i was having dinner with my mother and our housekeeper and as usual, we never fail to stick to just one topic.. We actually talk about everything.. My mom starts it off with a "Did you know?" and "You know what?".. Then, if i crack a really hilarious joke, we drive off the topic and forget about what we were talking about the previous time =) But anyways, we were having late dinner, (again) and i suddenly thought of a line just randomly.. it was "Understand the science first, before you argue.." It's so deep right? hahaha.. And ironically, we were talking about fishes then! hahaha! Just then, my mother talked about another topic and i suddenly forgot my line! I was so frustrated that i was so irritated with everyone around me and began having tantrums... Then, our housekeeper, (she was in the bathroom then, doing number 2 ;)) shouted that she remembered my line! She said it to me clearly from the bathroom and i jumped for joy as i wrote it in a paper.. =) Since then, my mother tells me that whenever i remember something important, i should write it down.. And from that experience, i totally learned =) Thanks mama! Love you and miss you! (although, she doesn't know im keeping a blog and probably would never read this) 

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

Coloring Flowers

This is kind of edited actually, i sharpened the contrast in this one cause it was too bright... But it did turn out pretty right? =)))

First time blogging through iTouch.. at 2:20 am!!!

Its the first time im posting a blog post through my iTouch in the Safari thingy application. And damn well this aint easy at all... Although, im pretty much used to typing on my gadget... im having a hard time getting used to zooming in and out on the texts im typing.. You might just ask why the heck i aint using the laptop, well its just that how the heck will u survive in using a kind of large laptop in a bed which im sharing with my loved cousins.. And besides, with the lights closed, the laptop is going to be bright enough to wake up my lovely cousins.. and hell, do i wanna cause a great inconvinience to them... (note the sarcasm) To be honest, i tried sleeping... but it just wont come... and heck this just aint the f*cking first time isnt it? if youd actually remember before when i said that i once slept at 3 am....

and so that brings me back to the present where i am thinking nothing but senseless thoughts and having a hard time pressing the right buttons ... but heck why do i even bother you think? well the truth is thats whats bugging me actually.. but its probably because i have nothing to do but wait till sleep takes over me.... and so aside from posting nonsense here, im also downloading a twitter application in my iTouch so i could tweet.. (even as cliche as that sounds) and if your wondering, yes i do have twitter, but no, i wont gve out mine cause thatll just give my identity wont it? ;) yes i know, im evil;) joking! hahaha

but still ill be surprised to see how long this comes out to be in my blog.. but we wont know till we see wont we? so i guess ill say bye fer now. :) hopefully sleep will realize ive had enough and actually take me =) so bye guys!!


rogue up! ;)
-RoguishBlogger

Contrasting Colors =)

This was from the chairs in my teacher in photography's house...

The difference between the one above with this one is that i adjusted the contrast from the camera... In here, i did nothing, while above, i sharpened the contrast more...

Angered Secrets & Mistakes

My mother is never sure whether i'm lying or not... She doesn't tell me this but i could sense it.. Don't ask me how because i don't know either.. I guess i could just feel it in my instincts... 


She used to tell me that "A secret cannot stay a secret for too long..." She tells me this when she thinks i'm keeping something from her. Though for me, it's all about hiding it really well.. Some people look like they have no secret/s at all. Truth is, no matter how big or small, all of us has secrets... Every person in the whole universe has one ... It's up to you as to how you're going to hide it.. Some people tell their's to one or two people because they "think" they trust them.. Though, to tell you the truth there is only very few people you could trust about your secret.. And it's pretty hard to find them... 


Yes, if you would actually notice, i am speaking from experience.. Once i told a friend of mine about a secret of mine that no one was supposed to know. Foolish i know, but then i had an urge to tell even just one person, and unfortunately the person i involuntarily told was my big mouthed "friend".. (if you even call her a friend) The certain urge i had was when i felt i would explode if  i kept my secret too long inside me. That was what my mother meant when she told me that a secret would never stay secret for too long.. I hated to say she was right though. I told my friend my hard kept secret through the phone.. Yes, you read it right, through the phone! I was too desperate to care about who i was telling my certain secret about because the feelings i had inside me was ready to explode.. I felt the need to tell even just one soul about what i have been keeping inside... And fate was just too cruel.. For the "friend" i told my secret to was a blabber.. People can't see that she is, but then i observe well.. I memorize her every move and know from the start that she couldn't keep a secret (juicy or not) inside her for too long. Her "sickness" was that contagious.. I didn't even know why i even became friends with her.. Regret was what i felt. You might be wondering as to why i totally regretted being friends with her..


I was on the phone with her one day, when i asked her if she wanted to know something about me.. She eagerly said yes and i could feel her excitement growing on the phone... I told her what i was keeping to myself for so long.. After i did, all she did was sound really surprised...she tried to hide it but i noticed that she couldn't help but feel a little excited too.. Excited why? Probably because she thought she was about to spread a gossip that would leave people's mouths open.. And to think, what i was keeping in me wasn't "juicy" at all.. it wasn't about something people wouldn't expect from a person like me... My secret was something from the past about my family problems. It was all done and i just needed someone to tell it to.. After i told her about it, i realized what i had done.. I then pulled out a really buy-able lie so that she would think my secret was not true at all.. And i was right, she bought what i told her and believed me... I was that a good of a liar.. It was either that, or she was just that stupid... Harsh i know, but then i needed to do it or else i wouldn't hear the end of it.. I just knew that if i hadn't pulled out that lie to let her think that my "secret" wasn't real, she would use it against me.. 


How did i know this? Easy.. She did this to one of my closest friends.. And i obviously didn't want to be the next victim...


And so that was how i learned from a mistake that i did and kept everything i was feeling inside a box. And during the times when i felt like i would explode.. Instead of blabbing the feelings i have about the world just like what i did before.. I get mad easily.. That's how i put out all the things i feel... It's either i blab, or get mad.. And from what i have experienced before, i learned how to choose the latter. Sadly after all, what choice do i have left?


rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger

Beauty & the Beast

Why am i so ugly? =(

Just a few seconds ago, i was browsing through the photos my beloved aunt tagged me in. And god, was i disgusted... I wasn't disgusted at the picture, but more likely, i was disgusted with my own face.. =( i know, people have more problems  than their looks, but please, you can't avoid these kinds of things happenings right? After those torturing moments, i scrolled down  a few pages more.. And i stared at one of my friend's profile picture... I think a tear almost feel down from my eye.. Kidding im exaggerating.. Although, my friends really are pretty.. Which makes me feel more ugly than i already am.. :( anyways.. I think i'll stop fer now.. I cant believe im talking too much about my face...Wow, this is the first time.. :( 

Rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

Living with what you read..

After all those years of lots and lots of reading, it was just the other night that I realized how much my reading affected my emotions...

 I was lying in my cousin’s bed and was reading one of my eBooks while the music was on through my earphones. I was half through the book when I came through a page when the character does something her love wouldn’t approve of, but ‘thing is, she didn’t do it on purpose. Because of that her best friend and the person that she loves gets into a huge fight. She explains herself, telling the people she loves that “it just happened”. But sadly, as all books go, the people close to her wouldn’t believe her. Though the other side of me just feels that she deserved it, my heart breaks for her as she is avoided by the people she loves by something she didn’t want to happen. Long times have past and the people she loves realized that they were just being hypocrites. They come to her to apologize, but they are too late. The character’s enemy, who turns out to be in love with her, locks her up in her own home saying that “if I can’t have you, no one can”. My grip on my iTouch tightens in anger as I witness the character’s loved ones are too late to be of help because of their stupidity that kept them from forgiving the character. I was never a crier for I believe that it is a weakness, but I couldn’t help and let a tear escape as the character struggles for help but sadly all results to nothing. As I finish the chapter, I couldn’t help but feel a little angry at the author’s storyline for letting the main character struggle in pain. Though after realizing the childishness of what I just thought, I shake my head in amusement and let out a small chuckle. I think to myself that it was just one of those typical storylines to shake out the frustration building up inside me. As I kept reading, I realized that I seldom have these kinds of emotions with the people around me.  I stop reading and leave my music open as things sunk into me. I am a whole different person when I read books. I don’t cry around people at all but suddenly tears fall whenever a character in a book suffers in heartbreak. Although, my anger comes with no difference around books and people for I don’t know how to control my anger around persons. (I am pretty impulsive.) Before all this knowledge came into me, I had no idea how much i was breaking my mother’s orders when she told me not to live through what i read. I mean, i do know i was breaking her order before, but not as much as now. I was rendered speechless that time when i realized those things and have no one to say these things to, so i came and wrote all my feelings to this blog. But even so when telling you this, I am still undisturbed on possibly how many people may be reading this for after all, you don’t me, and i don’t you. ;)

Rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

The Rush =))

It's a Sunday and I am with my cousins 2 hyper 10 & 7 yr old boys :).. And let me tell you.. They are running amuck! Though I'm mostly just amused by it.. Because it's a pretty dull day today.. But they're here to change it anyway =)


It all started when their mom (my aunt) came and scold them about their messy room, i was writing here then.. After my aunt went away, the 10 year old (his nickname to us is JoshKwek) put up the cushion beside the wall so the small cushion was positioned between the wall and the big bed :) The two boys ate chocolate after that and so they got really hyper from the sugar rush :))) As soon as the sugar rushed into them,  JoshKwek began impersonating Superman by jumping from the floor down to the cushion using it as a landing =) The 7 yr old nicknamed JimPoy, thought he could do better than what his brother did and so he wore a blanket over his shoulders as his cape and did the same.. Only, he started jumping from a shelf, running to the floor and jumped on the cushion, landing on his chest. :) They kept shouting ''Superman!" And the only thing i could do is laugh, and even after what seemed like an hour, JimPoy kept doing the same! My laughter subsided and was replaced by my eyes widening in amazement and surprise.. How could 1 bar of chocolate affect them too much? :0 I shook my head and stared at the laptop with my mouth hanging open.. I turned to ask something to JoshKwek after a while when what i saw almost put my eyes out of my pockets.. Instead of wearing his cape, JimPoy instantly changed his clothes wearing a green cap and held a fan in his right hand. I wonder what character he was this time? As if reading my mind JimPoy spoke "I am Indiana Jones" while turning the tip of his cap behind.. I laughed again as JoshKwek came rushing into the room wearing his dad's old brief (my uncle) while he held a frizbee on his left hand.. Without another word, the two began "fighting" each other without really hurting themselves =) I laughed more and decided to take pictures and a video :) (i'll try to post the picture tom)



A minute past and my aunt came and told us we were having dinner at some place where they sell delicious barbeque :)) The two boys got more excited and began jumping around.. We got into the van and was silent all the way, probably because our minds were occupied with what food were we going to savor a while later.. We came to our destination and started swallowed anything that landed into our plate :) We ended up in the van silent yet again.. We went home and the two boys landed on there bed face on.. A second later, snores filled the room.. They were too tired.. Well, what do you expect from two boys hyper all day? :) hahaha


rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

Bear with me :))

I'm really so sorry about my nothingness posts last time.. My mind wasn't functioning well actually.. I was still really sleepy :)) So here goes .. :)

Last night, i downloaded another game in my iTouch called "Party in my Dorm".. There you get to fight with other dorm mates, update your crew and have a club and chat with them.. Seeing as i was a newbie then, i didn't know exactly what do, i was really clueless about the game when a player messaged me that he would like to help me... And so i followed his orders and ended up upgrading real fast & joining their club in the game :) As i went going to their group we group chatted for long hours.. Talking about how to make our profile stronger, beat other players and get more players in our club.. I had fun though, and i read our clubs background and it made proud with my head held high :) our club's name had a distinct meaning that connected with what our admin's wrote in the club's background..  I can only give you a glimpse of what's written in there, and im just going to summarize it.. It says ''In this club, we don't give you the fish, we teach you to be great fishermen'' :)) Maybe fer the others, this is just too corny.. But then I dunno, i guess i just appreciate those kinds of things.. :))

And just today, the same routine, kept on coming.. We talked about everything happening about us.. Even one member in our club was still working and just playing the game during lunch :) Then, our other club member found someone for us to volley (volley= help upgrade their account) two actually.. I helped the other one by messaging her, then my other club mate said that he'll take it from there.. And so they let me switch to the other player.. I messaged him/her but then he/she ended up never replying.. (thats why i never knew what his/her gender was) I told my club mates that and one ended up swearing.. Talk about paranoid over a game! LOL.. :)) And that's how we all ended up helping each other over one player :) The girls including me kept hiring that player as their tutor while the boys told her what to do... Why were we helping? Because this was a win win situation.. The other player upgrades and we get the money ;) Even so, it still felt so cool doing it.. It was like we had a big mission to achieve ;) One time another player even told me "Standby Rouge" and i felt like we were on a SWAT mission! hahaha Call me childish but i guess thats me :))) We ended up helping the girl and earning a lot of money :))) I asked the guys if they invited her to the club but they said no.. I never knew why, but i guess i should be thankful I got invited then even if i was a newbie before like her :) Anyways, that's it fer now :)

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

Record Breaker \m/

I just broke a record :)))

The other night, without really knowing, I slept at 3 am... I was so caught up with playing on "Club World" and "Nightclub Story" that i hadn't realize the time.. Once i saw what the time was i decided to stop playing.. but out of habit, i didn't turn off my iTouch, instead, I put up some of my music to rock me to sleep.. Only, it took me another hour of tossing and turning until i was swallowed by another dream.. I was surprised actually, i never thought that even if i slept late and tired, i would still have such dreams :) But as such so, I ain't complaining :) I think I'll stop here and just add some pictures i took in my photography class again which was ALL taken in my teacher's house :)

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

In here i actually placed my subject on a long ladder and took the picture from under..

If you could see the difference between the two, then that's because i played with the "White Balance" (found in camera menu) :))))

Blanked Out -___-

Oh shit.. I just totally blanked out... I have a post waiting to be published but it ain't done yet, but i can't finish it.. Because i blanked out.. I think my minds tired =( oh god... Help me... Anyways.. Seeing as i can't get even just one post finished.. I'll just post another photo from my photography class.. =) bear with me please i think I'm just too tired... i think i need  a rest from laptops.. =(

rogue up!
-RoguishBlogger

If you actually take in the difference of this picture to the one under, you'll see that the subject in this picture looked more like a silhouette than the one under.. Well, i just adjusted the exposure when i took the picture of the subject.. This one above is underexposed because it's details aren't exactly shown.. But take note that not all underexposed pictures are ugly :))

I think this one was the original picture without adjusting anything.. This was taken at my teacher's cool house again and i actually took it from the under.. it's what the call the worm's eye view ;) In here,  i set the exposure at zero so it's balanced.. :)

Escaping the World

Life was never easy.. All of us have some problems we just couldn't solve alone.. Having problems are perfectly normal though.. It's what keeps us stronger and learn from our mistakes... And I am not an exception to that.. I couldn't avoid having or causing problems too.. And if not stating the obvious, my life has problems waiting to be solved.. But just as much as i hate to say this, it's the truth though, but I'm all alone to solve those problems with all the reasons I've said on my past post.. Moreover of course, i wouldn't back away off a challenge would i? After all, i have found my self through a blog :))) Though, this blog came later on..

I read a lot of books. When ever i go to one of my favorite bookstores, where the people there knew me.. They introduce me to new books on their sale, some which were their favorite... Soon, as the more often i came to their store, almost all the books they keep on giving to me, i already read.. And as the time came, the bookstore keepers never bothered anymore, because the only thing i would say whenever they gave me a book to read was "Yeah, that's a good book. Thanks but i already read it". Why was saying this? Because the people around me tell me that i read too much books. Even my mother doesn't like my reading too much.. She even told me "You read too much already, but i guess that's okay.. just don't live with what you read" i nodded in reply.. Although, the only thing i kept thinking was if you only knew... You might be wondering how i read too much... I don't read too much in the way that i forget my studies and fail school.. No way, I work hard for school really. Maybe that's why she still allows me to read every time of the day. But then, if you haven't gotten it yet.. Lemme tell you what people say about me..  I read too much that i forget my social life... but don't get me wrong though, i still have friends, but then whenever i have a new book to read, it's like i forget the world around me... that's when my friends get disappointed with my reading, because if they see me holding a new book in school, they'd expect me to avoid talking to them, act busy, just to get to read my book... Honestly, i didn't want to hurt their feelings at all.. It's just that they don't know why i do such things.. Reading is what i do to numb the pains and challenges from this world.. It's just that I'm sick and tired of having to keep up with the people acting like they have all the problems of the world on their shoulders.. please, life isn't just about them is it? I do this because when i read, it's like getting swallowed by a big tornado.. I forget the world around me as i read the way the character lives through her life, it's like I'm not this person anymore.. it's like i was already the character in the story.. So when my mom told me not to live through what i read.. I find ironic if not amusing.. Because it's like she knows why i read.. But then, that's near impossible because she sees the way i read as my way to add words into my vocabulary seeing as she's a teacher... She would never think that i would use my books as my detour out of the world.. It's like suicidal without the pain... Though don't get me wrong, i would never go for suicide.. I think that's not fair at all... I think I'd rather go with numbing the challenges pending for me and solve it later.. It's like comparing it to school, it's like going to recess then going to classes again after.. Do you get me? But either way.. No one knows that this is the way i do things.. Only those reading this blog.. But fortunately, you don't me at all :))).. So don't give up things even if you're in for it alone... After all, who says you can't get your way through your problems alone? 

rogue up! :)

-RoguishBlogger

Posting Pictures Now ;))

This picture was taken by me in our teacher's home (actually everything was taken in her home) and let me tell you, her house is enormous! Her house is so different and rare! Her was open! The only thing that's stopping from rain coming in are the screens and sheds! But the good thing is, even if her house is open.. It isn't too warm at all! Cool eh? :)

This one is similar from the one above.. And if yer wondering, no it isn't computer edited at all :)) I just adjusted the "White Balance" (found in the camera menu) and look at the difference :)))) Cool noh?

These pictures I keep uploading are the decent pictures i took during my photography class i took with my closest cousin :))) The camera we used were DSLR's mine was Nikon :))) I love my camera.. I worked so hard on my grades just to have it :) Anyways, Our teachers were soo cool then.. :)) And one of 'em is even pretty ;) I mean, not that the other isn't.. Because she is.. But then the other one is just so youthful :)) It's just that the other one's beauty is different from the other.. What I'm trying to say is, that there's a distinct difference about their beauty and... you know what? Imma just stop talking... hahaha :))

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

I still love teachers though! :-* (a kiss for teachers to make it clear)

I was browsing through the internet when i came across Google.. Out of boredom, i decided to search myself... I typed my name and was surprised with what i saw.. At the top of the list was my account in facebook.. Not that surprising eh? Well, just as a scrolled down through the options, one thing caught my eye.. In one of the choices i saw, was a video entitled to my name.. I looked past it when it sunk in... I'm on youtube! For some people, these events may just pass out as the ordinary... But fer me.. No way.. I never uploaded videos on any website about me at all... I clicked the link with my curiosity growing and was more surprised too see what video was posted about me.. It was a video posted as to when i performed a monologue in front of my grade level... With my excitement growing, I watched the video with my contagious laughter... Why was i laughing? Well, it was just that the person performing the monologue wasn't me at all, it was another contestant.. The contestant was Ella but her name in the video was mine   :)) haha.. I tried to search my real video cause i saw that all the contestants have theirs.. And surprise, surprise.. I didn't see mine.. And if you'd ask me if I'd think this is a coincidence .... i wouldn't think so.. I checked to see who uploaded the video to inform that person his/her mistake but i hesitated as i saw who the uploader was.. It was one of my teachers whom i knew probably hated me.. Why that teacher hated me? I'd rather not say.. But i knew it was enough to either piss that teacher off or feed off my teacher's ego.. You might be thinking as to how I'm sure that that teacher didn't like me, (maybe hate is a strong word, so let's go with "didn't like") well, i observe a lot.. I always recite during classes and that teacher's class isn't an exception... And ever since that teacher knew that i was the one who pissed his/her off, well, let's just say that teacher never called me when i raise my hand anymore.. so, i stopped trying.. and another thing i observed, that teacher loves greeting his/her student's by their own names.. and every time, (and when i say every time, i say all the time.) my group of friends pass by that teacher, he/she greets us one by one.. and here's something surprising (note the sarcasm) that teacher doesn't greet me by my name at all.. heck, that teacher didn't greet me at all or even acknowledge my existence.. But honestly, i don't care cause if that teacher would be that way.. then i think i would understand what i did was kind of a low blow anyway.. (at least i did admit my mistake, i know someone who didn't) :)))) and you know what?? i don't like that teacher at all either.. that teacher has a stinky breath, arrogant personality ... However, let me tell you the truth, i have no bad vibes over teachers... (only one and you already know who) i love teachers, i like the way they spend their time to teach us clueless students.. my mother is a teacher ;)) that's why i just wanna make it clear.. i like teachers still.. ;)))) so dont get me wrong! ;))))

rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger

Picture Perfect =)

One of the pictures i took during may photography classes... I love this kind of subject 'cause it makes me look like a professional photographer ;) LOL...

Me, Myself, & My Blog :)

Im really sorry for my total rubbish post last night.. I was really hyper that time, so bear with me ;) So, I'm just gonna act like that post was never there ;)

I've never had a brother nor a sister.. And being that way, I've learned to deal with my feelings alone. I've learned to keep my observations about people for myself.. I've learned to keep my opinion about peoples personalities for my own self only. Once, I've encountered a teacher whose solution is to be open to people.. But seriously, that's just complete bull to me.. Maybe it would look like some people would accept their mistakes as you say it to their face, but inside, they're really fuming if not upset.. Even to my friends, i couldn't be open to them at all.. i don't trust them.. Heck, i don't trust anyone.. This might sound harsh but, in the way I've experienced things, they'd just talk about how mean you are to them to other people just because talked to them about their mistakes when all you've done is help that person correct them.. In my school, when you've stayed long enough to see the way things unfold, you learn how to keep your petty feelings to yourself... 'Cause if you don't.. you will never hear the end of it.. How do i know these things? I observe from the back seat.. I make friends, i blend into the environment and do the things that please people but at the same time, i don't let too personal things let go off my grasp.. Because these weaknesses will be used against you, trust me, I've been there... And if you haven't, your lucky...  I mean, I'm not trying to influence you about my outlook in life but you could never escape the truth could you? That's just the way things are.. Trusting people ain't easy at all, and in what I've seen, you could never trust a person without seeing what they're made of... And if you want to survive my world.. You learn to hide your colors until you've met the person you could hand your trust too.. And with me, i haven't met mine.. My parents are out of question.. I tried spilling out my feelings to my mother, but all she said is about her opinion about life... It's like she never realized i was the one speaking, but don't get me wrong.. i mean, i love my mother, it's just that, it's not in her personality to listen.. and believe me, i tried telling her that, but all she did was throw my mistakes to my face.. But like i said, i love my mother, she's been there for me.. So, just not to ruin our relationship, i keep my feelings to myself and go with her flow.. And with my father, he's just too far away to lend an ear.. And i have my closest cousin though, but then.. She's having her own problems too so i can't afford to put more weight into her shoulders.. So, i have nothing to come to at all.. Until it got to me to, you know, just write it in a blog.. Thanks to my closest cousin, she writes blogs too.. (see it in "Read these too ;)'') So, i thought it would work for me.... I just thought that, if i couldn't be open to the people close to me without them judging me, then i just won't... (Still, i understand judging people comes naturally with others so no worries) But then if i try blogging even with people judging me about what i say, I'd take the chance. After all, they don't know me :)))))

rogue up! :)

-RoguishBlogger

Sleepy.. -______-

It's late and imma let you in on a little secret.. ;) but now that it's posted in my blog, i guess it ain't gonna be a secret anymore.. ;) but ya know what? i don't give a damn.. who cares people?? hahaha.. pardon me, i'm kinda hyper in this time of the night.. (actually im high everyday LOL) moving on, here's a little secret imma share to ya guys.. i really sleep late.. :)))))) my relatives and my parents know nothing about this at all.. thats why it's kind of a secret i keep... 'cause if they knew, im DEAD.. ahaha ... but like i said, they don't read my blog anyway, only my cousin knows i write a blog ;) anyways, i dont sleep at 10 pm, 12 pm -ish kind of way.. cause thats really lame fer me.. thats only when i lay down on my bed and stare at the ceiling or listen to my iPod.. 10-12 pm's only the time when my relatives THINK im a sleep.. but no..  i sleep later than that man!! more like a 1 - 2 am -ish way!!! i dunno what i do, but i just usually read my eBooks in my iTouch 'cause i just cant sleep that "early" dude.. and don't call me an insomniac man 'cause i ain't.. correct me if im wrong but based on what i know, insomniacs dont usually wake up refreshed even if they've slept long enough.. but the thing is.. i do! i wake up really refreshed and high!! (but no, i dont do drugs.. LOL) i actually wake up at 11-12 am -ish in the morn'.. hahaha im weird noh? yep i am.. and i'll happily take that as a compliment ;))) but please, if yer not used to living this way ;) dont follow me.. i could happily say that i am a bad infulence.. hahaha kidding!! (maybe i am haha) and the funny thing is.. even if i sleep REALLY late, i still have really nice dreams! (well, not always.. just often)  but either way, i aint complaning :)) im happy the way i am.. :))) i aint changing my ways.. (maybe i will, but not now..) anyways... it's 11 pm and i gotta hit the sack.. if ya know what i mean ;)) 'cause if i wanna keep going, i gotta keep up my act!! (ohgahd, its rhyming!!) hahaha ;))))  thanks fer keeping up with my craziness even if this is just my second post LOL.. ahahaha but no worries, i aint stopping blogging.. but if you dont want me to keep posting, just email me.. and i'll kick yer sorry ass.. kidding!! haha you know me ;) byieee!!

rogue up!!!!

-RoguishBlogger <3

Just a Second

It's funny how a person could change within a second.. Trust me, i know.. I've seen the people around me change within a snap. One minute they're all grounded and everything, then the next minute you look back, you watch them fade away... And moreover, those people you see fading are those close to you..  i guess, as that change goes, you realize that you're not exactly "close" to them anymore... you see them getting more and more distant from your circle of friends.. 'thing is, even if it was already obvious how that person is slowly going farther from you.. you choose to believe that everything's still the way it is... you pretend to be happy doing everything you do together and assume that that gut feeling that's growing inside you will soon fade, but just as you prove yourself wrong about your intuition, it turns out that what's fading is your friend and not your "gut feeling". You just stand there as you watch that person change everything about her. She changes the way she looks, the way she talks, and much worse, she changes her circle of friends. Suddenly, you begin to wonder, if her change is for good and not just because she wanted to fit in with people around her. Your mind is all worked up will all the questions that's really jumbled up... Then as you tick them off with unsure answers, one big realization sinks into you.. it's not her that's changed....  it's you..

rogue up! ;)   

-RoguishBlogger