Living with what you read..

After all those years of lots and lots of reading, it was just the other night that I realized how much my reading affected my emotions...

 I was lying in my cousin’s bed and was reading one of my eBooks while the music was on through my earphones. I was half through the book when I came through a page when the character does something her love wouldn’t approve of, but ‘thing is, she didn’t do it on purpose. Because of that her best friend and the person that she loves gets into a huge fight. She explains herself, telling the people she loves that “it just happened”. But sadly, as all books go, the people close to her wouldn’t believe her. Though the other side of me just feels that she deserved it, my heart breaks for her as she is avoided by the people she loves by something she didn’t want to happen. Long times have past and the people she loves realized that they were just being hypocrites. They come to her to apologize, but they are too late. The character’s enemy, who turns out to be in love with her, locks her up in her own home saying that “if I can’t have you, no one can”. My grip on my iTouch tightens in anger as I witness the character’s loved ones are too late to be of help because of their stupidity that kept them from forgiving the character. I was never a crier for I believe that it is a weakness, but I couldn’t help and let a tear escape as the character struggles for help but sadly all results to nothing. As I finish the chapter, I couldn’t help but feel a little angry at the author’s storyline for letting the main character struggle in pain. Though after realizing the childishness of what I just thought, I shake my head in amusement and let out a small chuckle. I think to myself that it was just one of those typical storylines to shake out the frustration building up inside me. As I kept reading, I realized that I seldom have these kinds of emotions with the people around me.  I stop reading and leave my music open as things sunk into me. I am a whole different person when I read books. I don’t cry around people at all but suddenly tears fall whenever a character in a book suffers in heartbreak. Although, my anger comes with no difference around books and people for I don’t know how to control my anger around persons. (I am pretty impulsive.) Before all this knowledge came into me, I had no idea how much i was breaking my mother’s orders when she told me not to live through what i read. I mean, i do know i was breaking her order before, but not as much as now. I was rendered speechless that time when i realized those things and have no one to say these things to, so i came and wrote all my feelings to this blog. But even so when telling you this, I am still undisturbed on possibly how many people may be reading this for after all, you don’t me, and i don’t you. ;)

Rogue up!

-RoguishBlogger